As an exercise in mindfulness, I will examine my negative traits and attempt to reframe them in a more positive or nurturing way. The intent is to look at my traits more objectively by challenging my inner negativity and transforming them into something beneficial for my growth.
Often times I have trouble being objective with myself; It’s much easier for me to give others grace. If I can channel that positive outlook inward, I may be able to simultaneously accept myself and move forward in life.
This post is a work in progress! I will periodically add negative traits and reframe them as I give myself time to ruminate and process.
| Negative Trait | Reframing |
| I am a people pleaser to a fault. I will sacrifice my own values if it means avoiding conflict. I don’t stand up for myself and even struggle standing up for others. | “I am person who pleases people because I am afraid to disappoint them. I grew up lonely and afraid of others. I am often confused by how other people behave and want to please them to avoid conflict.” |
| I’m a procrastinator. The mental wall I’ve built for myself is sometimes – maybe more often than not – insurmountable. Only when I’m backed into a corner do I decide to climb the wall – sometimes when it’s too late. | “I am a person who has gone through stressful events. Because of this, I worry about being successful. The mental burden to start something when I have the feel of failure is so intense that it takes a ton of energy to even start.” |
| I latch on to people. I build my identity around others. I struggle to know myself. I find it hard to voice my needs. I’m insecure and clingy. I want to be wanted and easily hurt. | “I’m afraid of losing people. I look up to people because I don’t value myself. It’s easier to focus on someone else than to do the hard work on my own.” |
| I have meltdowns. I lose control of myself. I let small things get under my skin. I give power to people and things that don’t deserve it. | “My brain has limits. Those limits can be reached due to both big and small things.” |
| I can be obsessive about people and things. I think in black-and-white terms too frequently. I hardly feel like I fit in an unfairly assume people don’t like me or will grow to dislike me. | “I’m afraid of losing people and care so much that I constantly think of them. My past traumas have caused so much internalized self-hatred that I think no one will like my true self. I don’t give myself a chance, and I don’t give others a chance to see my true self.” |
| I am indecisive, poor at planning, and get easily confused. This causes me to drift along in life without growing or making any progress. Then, then I get sudden inspiration, the weight of everything crashes down on me, causing the cycle to repeat. | |
| When I face failure, I feel alone and self-isolate. I’m overly hard on myself and dig a hole to hide in. I overinflate the failure and give it too much power. I avoid talking about the failure to others even though I always feel better for doing so. | |
| I very easily doubt myself. I let others override my emotions. It makes me question my motives despite being confident at other times. I get confused when people disagree with me in emotionally intense ways. |
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